Chuck Norris 03 Kawasaki 636 ZX6-R

Rider · 03-19-2010, 10:00 AM

http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/mcy/1645662880.html

Chuck Norris 03 Kawasaki 636 ZX6-R - $4800 (dallas)
Date: 2010-03-15, 4:58PM CDT
Reply to: sale-y49mk-1645662880@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

OK, let me start off by saying this Kawasaki ZX6-R is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it were possible for a bike to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Kawi would look like Tom Selleck. Yeah, it is just that sexy.

It was never intended to drive you to the Galleria mall to pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Bath & Body Works. No, that's what your vespa is for. If that's the kind of “bike” you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This sex-machine was engineered by 3rd-degree, ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous, nancy-boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a realman doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled, super action junkies need. It has a 636cc engine to outrun the cops. It has specialblood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit, and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Kawi also has 6 gears so if you're being chased by Taliban-terrorists, you can outrun them with a gun strapped to your back and shoot them at high-speed intervals. Let's just say that it's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the hottie you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. I also just put in a brand new stator to replace the malfunctioning one from The Man(ufacturers) that decided to wimp out.
My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $4,800 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me
you'll give me $2,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt?
Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 17,000 miles on this two-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. It is in pristine condition, not a scratch on this monster. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or sky diving or just chilling with my homes, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a
price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to some classic rock that will rock your socks right off.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah,
you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.

shoot me a text if you fit the description of someone who can handle sex on wheels,
214 772 8577
ace

Dave · 03-19-2010, 10:14 AM

real horrorshow

pauldun170 · 03-19-2010, 10:25 AM

Quote:

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah,
you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Bluestreak · 03-19-2010, 10:43 AM

smileyman · 03-19-2010, 11:54 AM

I like his pitch but he is about 2K high on the price. Just sayin'

the chi · 03-19-2010, 02:13 PM

Epic. These people should win awards for creative writing.

Rider · 03-19-2010, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Chi

Epic. These people should win awards for creative writing.

They have to justify why they are asking twice the value.

karl_1052 · 03-19-2010, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Chi

Epic. These people should win awards for creative writing.

Or creative theft.

Same ad was posted a year ago to sell a pathfinder:

http://www.clubfrontier.org/forums/f...igslist-38817/

Particle Man · 03-19-2010, 03:29 PM

Quote:

That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt?
Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

fnfalman · 03-19-2010, 06:32 PM

What the fuck does he have against Vespa?

03-19-2010, 10:00 AM	#1
Rider Moto GP Star Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 12,156	Chuck Norris 03 Kawasaki 636 ZX6-R http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/mcy/1645662880.html Chuck Norris 03 Kawasaki 636 ZX6-R - $4800 (dallas) Date: 2010-03-15, 4:58PM CDT Reply to: sale-y49mk-1645662880@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] OK, let me start off by saying this Kawasaki ZX6-R is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it were possible for a bike to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Kawi would look like Tom Selleck. Yeah, it is just that sexy. It was never intended to drive you to the Galleria mall to pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Bath & Body Works. No, that's what your vespa is for. If that's the kind of “bike” you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop. This sex-machine was engineered by 3rd-degree, ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous, nancy-boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a realman doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is). No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled, super action junkies need. It has a 636cc engine to outrun the cops. It has specialblood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit, and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Kawi also has 6 gears so if you're being chased by Taliban-terrorists, you can outrun them with a gun strapped to your back and shoot them at high-speed intervals. Let's just say that it's saved my bacon more than once. It has room for you and the hottie you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. I also just put in a brand new stator to replace the malfunctioning one from The Man(ufacturers) that decided to wimp out. My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $4,800 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $2,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore. There's only 17,000 miles on this two-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. It is in pristine condition, not a scratch on this monster. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo. Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or sky diving or just chilling with my homes, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to some classic rock that will rock your socks right off. To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants. Rock on. shoot me a text if you fit the description of someone who can handle sex on wheels, 214 772 8577 ace

03-19-2010, 10:43 AM	#4
Bluestreak What? Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Lancaster, PA Moto: Dirt Posts: 578	__________________ Lean till you see sparks. If they are coming from your pegs you are doing good. If they are coming from you tank, you've just gained wisdom... Wisdom usually hurts.

03-19-2010, 11:54 AM	#5
smileyman White Trash Hero Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NW Arkansas Moto: Buell 1125R Porco Rosso Edition Posts: 4,895	I like his pitch but he is about 2K high on the price. Just sayin' __________________ Arkriders.com To be the best you must first be willing to risk the worst!

03-19-2010, 06:32 PM	#10
fnfalman Europhile Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: SoCal Moto: Aprilia RS125, Aprilia SR50 Factory, Aprilia Tuono, BMW Rockster, KTM 990 Adventure Posts: 1,875	What the fuck does he have against Vespa? __________________ *Cogito Ergo Vroom - I think therefore I ride*

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03-19-2010, 10:14 AM	#2
Dave Chaotic Neutral Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Cherry Hill NJ Moto: GV1200 Madura, Hawk gt Posts: 13,992	real horrorshow