Damn this waters' cold...

askmrjesus · 01-04-2010, 08:18 PM

Ordinarily, if I was telling this joke, the punchline would be, "And it's deep too!"

But it's not deep.

It's right near the surface.

It's also frozen. Solid. Like, Rock of Fucking Ages, solid.

Why? Because it's a hundred degrees below zero outside, (rough calculation) and the Wilderness Elves that watch over my water supply have wandered into the fog, and been devoured by Marmots.

On the other hand, it could just be that the waterline from my cistern starts out above grade, and freezes. This pisses me off to no end. My property has at least a dozen springs on it. There's "Natural Mountain Spring Water" everywhere you step.

This past Summer my yard was a tropical Hell. There was water everywhere, and nobody spoke English. Throw in some rice, a little Bamboo, and half a dozen Communists, and my backyard could have been Viet Nam.

Right now, it's Nam Kang. That's the Thai word for ice. The Goddamn pipe froze, and I've had no water one a day and a half. To make matters worse, I'm also out of ice. How fucked up is that? Ice, ice everywhere, and not a chip to sprinkle vodka over.

So, I got tired of hot vodka, and ventured up the hill with a blow torch. As we speak, I'm defrosting a pipe with fire.

Place your bets Ladies and Gentlemen...

JC

Tmall · 01-04-2010, 08:29 PM

<-- hopes pipes "thaw" instead of "crack". For real.

racedoll · 01-04-2010, 08:42 PM

You are nuts.

Good luck.

Fleck750 · 01-04-2010, 08:50 PM

You haven't lived till you've crawled under a house at -5 degrees and spent an hour unfreezing your pipes with a blow dryer.

Hope your pipes unfreeze and don't break.

Captain Morgan · 01-04-2010, 09:28 PM

careful with that torch. Thawing pipes out sucks, but cleaning up after pipes bust is even worse.

Amber Lamps · 01-04-2010, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Morgan

careful with that torch. Thawing pipes out sucks, but cleaning up after pipes bust is even worse.

I was thinking that too... I'd honestly go with a couple light bulbs...if you thaw the ice too fast the pipe will burst for sure...

tommymac · 01-05-2010, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TIGGER

I was thinking that too... I'd honestly go with a couple light bulbs...if you thaw the ice too fast the pipe will burst for sure...

ceramic heating bulbs, throw off a lot more heat than the lightbulbs. Gotta own reptiles to know about them though

Tom

z06boy · 01-05-2010, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tommymac

ceramic heating bulbs, throw off a lot more heat than the lightbulbs. Gotta own reptiles to know about them though

Tom

Just learned about them this past week.

Amber Lamps · 01-04-2010, 09:28 PM

When you are done with that, run and get two old lamps, a couple 100W bulbs and an extension cord and ensure that this doesn't happen again. Just a suggestion from the guy from Michigan.

Cruzergirl · 01-04-2010, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TIGGER

When you are done with that, run and get two old lamps, a couple 100W bulbs and an extension cord and ensure that this doesn't happen again. Just a suggestion from the guy from Michigan.

This worked for me in Alaska. It was hard to sleep though, thinking that the house was going to burn down. It didn't. And the pipes didn't freeze.

Now I'm in Florida and there's a hard freeze warning tonight. Feels like home.

View Poll Results: How many people will die?
Just me.	0	0%
Just you.	0	0%
Everybody.	1	4.35%
Nine girls named Brandy	6	26.09%
Ann Coulter	2	8.70%
Tigger	3	13.04%
The entire staff of Mythbusters	7	30.43%
Tater Tots Spore of a Mushroom Cloud	4	17.39%
Voters: 23. You may not vote on this poll

01-04-2010, 08:18 PM	#1
askmrjesus Soul Man Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Everywhere, all the time. Moto: '0000 Custom Turbo Cross (with jet kit). Posts: 6,481	Damn this waters' cold... Ordinarily, if I was telling this joke, the punchline would be, "And it's deep too!" But it's not deep. It's right near the surface. It's also frozen. Solid. Like, Rock of Fucking Ages, solid. Why? Because it's a hundred degrees below zero outside, (rough calculation) and the Wilderness Elves that watch over my water supply have wandered into the fog, and been devoured by Marmots. On the other hand, it could just be that the waterline from my cistern starts out above grade, and freezes. This pisses me off to no end. My property has at least a dozen springs on it. There's "Natural Mountain Spring Water" everywhere you step. This past Summer my yard was a tropical Hell. There was water everywhere, and nobody spoke English. Throw in some rice, a little Bamboo, and half a dozen Communists, and my backyard could have been Viet Nam. Right now, it's Nam Kang. That's the Thai word for ice. The Goddamn pipe froze, and I've had no water one a day and a half. To make matters worse, I'm also out of ice. How fucked up is that? Ice, ice everywhere, and not a chip to sprinkle vodka over. So, I got tired of hot vodka, and ventured up the hill with a blow torch. As we speak, I'm defrosting a pipe with fire. Place your bets Ladies and Gentlemen... JC __________________ The way things are going, they're gonna crucify me.

01-04-2010, 08:50 PM	#4
Fleck750 Spiker bike Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: KCK Moto: KZ750 Posts: 1,629	You haven't lived till you've crawled under a house at -5 degrees and spent an hour unfreezing your pipes with a blow dryer. Hope your pipes unfreeze and don't break. __________________ I ride way too fast to worry about cholesterol. ~Author Unknown

01-04-2010, 08:29 PM	#2
Tmall Aspiring Rapper Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Halifax, NS Moto: '12 CB1000R Posts: 3,569	<-- hopes pipes "thaw" instead of "crack". For real.

01-04-2010, 08:42 PM	#3
racedoll AMA Supersport Join Date: Nov 2008 Moto: '04 Kawasaki ZX6RR Posts: 3,392	You are nuts. Good luck.

01-04-2010, 09:28 PM	#5
Captain Morgan Let's do another U-turn Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Indiana Moto: 2009 V-Strom Posts: 3,816	careful with that torch. Thawing pipes out sucks, but cleaning up after pipes bust is even worse.

01-04-2010, 09:28 PM	#9
Amber Lamps Moto GP Star Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 14,556	When you are done with that, run and get two old lamps, a couple 100W bulbs and an extension cord and ensure that this doesn't happen again. Just a suggestion from the guy from Michigan.