Dear Abby...

[Cutty72]

Originally Posted by azoomm

No, the majority don't do it at all because they aren't parents. AND, they would do it because it was done to them and they think it worked.

They know no other method. Or, they think any other method is a hug and a cookie...

I'm not a parent. It was done to me, twice to be exact, and damn straight it worked.

And I know it works a hell of a lot better than trying a "time out" when the 6 y/o is running around the restraunt yelling and screaming...

And many times, the mere threat of "going outside" is enough for a kid to sit down and shut up.

[itgirl]

as a child my dad was always beat with a belt, hand or anything near to him and he was also punished by his mother by placing red pepper on his tongue and making him sit there with it on and tears streaming down his face. it didn't teach him anything, all it did was make him and his mother estranged. as soon as he turned 18 he left for 2 tours of vietnam in the army. when he returned he married my mom and had me and my sister. by the time i was 5 years old my dad was breaking our toys, busting pillows over my head and shooting the windows out of our home with a .45. my mom had him committed. he was released after a few months (or more, i was young) and had completely changed. he never so much as raised his voice thereafter towards any of us up until his death 8 years ago.

was it the beatings from his mom that created his hair-trigger and explosive temper? was it PTSD from vietnam? probably both. either way, i will never...NEVER...condone spanking or any form of physical discipline in my household. i have seen what could happen in the worst case scenario. but that is just how i choose to parent. feel free to judge me accordingly.

[fatbuckRTO]

Just be sure to vote in my incredibly precise scientific poll.

[derf]

A little spanking is always warrented. My parents spanked me as little kid, and I spank my kids when its warrented. Usually a good tap on the backside will teach them a quick lesson that something they did was wrong.

The only time I think I ever went overboard was when I cought my daughter trying put her brother in a hot oven. I went to the bathroom, and she unlocked the kitchen gate and lead him in. Luckily she wasn't strong enough to lift him and he was fidgeting or she might have cooked him. I let loose on her ass while I was carrying her out of the kitchen. But to this day she won't play with the stove or try to cook her brother.

[racedoll]

I don't agree with Abby either. That is exactly what is wrong with all these kids now - they are no disciplined enough and therefore have zero respect for anyone... including themselves.

[OneSickPsycho]

Originally Posted by azoomm

I hope some of you will grow some patience before you have children.

I have never raised a hand to my children. And, I can assure you - they completely respect me and the other adults in their lives.

Hitting DOES equate violence. I don't care how you think you did it. It plants into their mind fear and the concept that conflicts should be resolved or dealt with in a physical manner. This was one thing I wanted to make sure my daughters learned without any sort of physical behavior.

Just because I don't spank my children it does not mean they do not have discipline. It is something that as a parent you need to figure out. What will get them to pay attention. Is it taking away a favorite toy? Or, is it building a household around them wanting to strive for posetive aspects?

Let's look at something more simple. Let's take training a dog. Do you hit your dog when they do something you don't want them to do? Or, do you get onto the floor with them and praise them or give them treats when they do something posetive?

It takes patience. It takes consistant behavior. It takes posetive reinforcement and swift action rather than reaction. Too much of what you are seeing around you with "kids today" isn't from lack of discipline. It's from parents not having the patience to actually raise children. It's threats that aren't followed through on and the want to be buddies. It's about thinking with your head rather than just going with what you know from when you were growing up. Just because it was good enough for you, that doesn't mean it is best for your children.

I won't ever strike my child - not in anger, not with the idea of teaching them something, certainly not just because I was when I was young.

Honestly... Lil' OSP would have eaten you alive... I've never been one to seek praise, probably just my narcissism... Still that way now, in fact... I thoroughly dislike praise...

Grounding, time out, long talks, etc, etc... never worked. An ass whoopin' was the only thing that EVER had any impact. For the record, all that shit worked with my sister and she never was spanked... ever. Me on the other hand... No choice.

Sorry, all kids are different and for some the only thing that works is physical punishment.

[101lifts2]

Originally Posted by pickle.of.doom

Hmmm...

My mom used to spank me with a ping pong paddle.

One day I had enough of that, grabbed it, started hitting her back with it.

hahahahaha

Well u never learned did you!

[azoomm]

Originally Posted by OneSickPsycho

Honestly... Lil' OSP would have eaten you alive....

Doubtful.

[Archren]

Originally Posted by OneSickPsycho

Honestly... Lil' OSP would have eaten you alive...

You haven't met Moira. Woman doesn't need to spank anyone to intimidate the hell out of 'em. 5'10" amazon woman frame helps..

[OneSickPsycho]

Originally Posted by Archren

You haven't met Moira. Woman doesn't need to spank anyone to intimidate the hell out of 'em. 5'10" amazon woman frame helps..

OSP is not easily intimidated... Never has been. Especially if he knows there's not shit that the 'intimidator' is going to do...