OSP's Craigslist Personal Ad

[SoFlaSV]

Originally Posted by OneSickPsycho

Let's meet somewhere. I'll show up 30 minutes late (or more!) and smell vaguely of gasoline and smoke. There will be no explanation for this phenomenon. I will drive you to mumbles and recursive swearing by asking awkward personal questions within moments of our introduction. You will be charmed or appalled as you please at the nonsense I promise to spout in response to your attempts at small talk. At a loss, we will agree to simply get very, very drunk. At this point, in spite of finding each other the sexual equivalent of the color beige, we will go back to your place and hump frantically. I will sneer at your CD collection. You will ignore me and look at crazy news items on the Internet. While leaving, I will slip off my panties and tear them to shreds, leaving the threads in a pile by the side of your carport and muttering a hex I think I derived from the ambient noise in 'Suspiria'--but is actually an old Burma Shave ad.

When we unexpectedly run into one another again, I won't remember your name but will feel compelled to say hello regardless. When your friends ask how you know me, you'll explain that I am a homeless bum you gave change to once near your favorite luncheonette.

Can't you feel it, baby?

-H

We have a winner!!!