AMJ collection! volume 1

[cuttle]

original AMJ post:




askmrjesus's secret:


My business has a toll free number, which happens to have almost nothing in common with the toll free number used by Victoria's Secret.

Yet for some odd reason, dyslectic housewives across the country manage to ring me up at least twice a day.

Usually, they recognize their mistake when I answer the phone and I don't say "Hello, Victoria's Secret, can I help you?"

But sometimes they don't, and they ask the magic question.

"Is this Victoria's Secret?"

This mornings episode:

"Is this Victoria's Secret"

"Uh, sure, why not, what can I help you with?"

"I have a question about-"

"A question? Ah yes lovely, which department would you like?"

"Department?"

"Yes ma'am, Junior Miss, Plus-Size MILFs, Lesbian Spinsters or Drag Queen Big and Tall?"

"Um, (slightly confused now) "It's about the free panties."

"Oh right, hang on, I'll get you Nigel in Thongs"

-Push buttons on phone and switch to cheesy British accent.-

"Thongs, this is Nigel."

"Hi Nigel, I have a question about the free panties"

"Yes luv, what can I help you with?"

"I need to ask about sizing."

"Sizing? No worries, can you describe your bumm for me?"

"My bumm?"

"Yes dear, plum shape, pear shape, cantaloupe, watermelon or map of Wyoming?"

"Is this really Victoria's secret?"

"No, but if you'd like, you can talk to Bob in the welding department, he's wearing a thong right now, I believe."

Click.

JC