Flight Crew Fun

[Phenix_Rider]

I think Rae knows someone who will get a kick from this

P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S) Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P) Test flight okay, except auto-land very rough.
S) Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P) Something loose in cockpit.
S) Something tightened in cockpit.

P) Dead bugs on windshield.
S) Live bugs on back-order.

P) Auto-pilot in altitude-hold mode produces 200 feet per minute descent.
S) Cannot reproduce problem on the ground.

P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S) Evidence removed.

P) DME Volume unbelievably loud.
S) DME volume set to more believable level.

P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S) That's what friction locks are for.

P) IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P) Suspected crack in windshield.
S) Suspect your right.

P) Number three engine missing.
S) Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P) Aircraft handles funny.
S) Aircraft wanted to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P) Target radar hums.
S) Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P) Mouse in cockpit.
S) Cat Installed

P) Noise coming from under panel. Sounds like a Midget pounding on somethingwith a hammer.
S) Took hammer away from midget.