Anti-German Weasel Spray

[askmrjesus]

It's been a few years since I've been back to Germany. Apparently, since I've been gone, giant, car eating weasels have become quite a problem. So much so, that the plucky Germans have developed a special aerosol spray to keep them at bay:



Armed with my Anti-Giant Weasel spray, I decided to head into town. I'm just not sure if I'm supposed to spray the weasel directly, or just spray some on my jacket, and do my best to pretend that I am not a car. The can offers no instructions in this regard.

Unfortunately, town is surrounded by a giant wall, complete with a moat:



Fucking hell. This weasel problem must be worse than I thought. The wall is adorned with slots, undoubtably so the town's inhabitants can shoot flaming Brautwurst at the marauding weasel intruders. Question is, How the fuck do I get in?

Aha! There's a door:



Considering the giant weasel threat, the door seems rather lacking in the security department. I need a beer to calm my nerves. This weasel thing is freaking me right the fuck out.

I make my way to a safe looking cellar, and have a beer that's made by monks, in a brewery that's been making beer since 1050 (AD). This explains two things; Why the beer is so good, and why there are shitfaced monks all over town.

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Ok, I'm better now. Nine more of these, and I'm just going to forget about the weasels completely.

Off to the Czech Republic in the morning.

I'm taking the weasel spray, just in case...

JC