Go Back   Two Wheel Fix > General > Off Topic

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-15-2010, 02:03 PM   #1
Avatard
Crotch Rocket Curmudgeon
 
Avatard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Here to integrity
Moto: Li'l red baby Ninja
Posts: 7,482
Default Girls: How to raise your "hotness" number.

Show some nipple. It's that simple.

Don't hide them under 1/4" of padding in a bra that makes your tits look like a pair of NASA nosecones. Your entire chest should not move a single unit when your tits shift inside your shirt as you move.

Such support may be good on a daily basis to prevent the effects of gravity, but it's in actuality the very effect of gravity, and vibration that make men's mouths fall agape when breasts move. It is INSTANTLY far more fully captivating than ANY magician or hypnotist's dangling trinket - even without the added benefit of any incantational chants.

The '90s and the aughts essentially hid the wonderful shapes of women's breasts under a moving blanket, but recently, some have emerged from hiding, and made glorious appearances under thin, clingy, jersey fabric...adding DaVinci-like artistry and awe to whatever it was the fucking T-shirt said.

It's as if women almost forgot what mesmerizing power nipples have over men.



I'll put it in as simple mathematical terms as possible, so as to best encourage what I feel is the needed return to sanity:

Ladies: If you're a "6", and you have nipples showing through your shirt, you are INSTANTLY upgraded to an "8". No questions asked.

Trust me on this.

If I can see the outline of the areolae, a four point upgrade is not out of the question. I've seen a majestic set of tits take a 5 to a 9.

If you've EVER considered breast implants, I'm here to tell you that it's completely unnecessary. First, many (like myself) prefer the softness and shape of the real thing. Second, why spend all that money?...why risk infection, capsulization, scars and deformity?...when nipples are free?

You have them. Use them for what they were designed for: securing our undivided attention.

Now, I've given you a powerful force. Please use it only for good. If your headlights are in need of alignment, and they are aiming at the ground, please remember that while all that I have said is true, Corvettes are pretty, and most of them have their headlights hidden.

To the rest of you, I plead, for all that is holy; set my people free.
__________________
Insert free thought here.
Avatard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2010, 02:06 PM   #2
dubbs
Multistrada
 
dubbs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Manorville, NY
Posts: 652
Default

Amen..
__________________
Sportbike - 2013 Ducati Multistrada S Touring - Red
Luxury Car - 2013 Cadillac ATS 2.0 Turbo - Black
Weekend Car - 2003 Honda S2000 - Black
Daily Driver - 2011 Toyota Prius - Black
Beater - 2005 Honda Civic Hybrid - Dust Colored
dubbs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2010, 02:11 PM   #3
Dave
Chaotic Neutral
 
Dave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Cherry Hill NJ
Moto: GV1200 Madura, Hawk gt
Posts: 13,992
Default

epic post. Semi related, knowing how to drive stick is an easy 1-2 point modifier with me
Dave is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2010, 02:17 PM   #4
Rider
Moto GP Star
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 12,156
Default

100% truth in the OP.
Rider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2010, 02:20 PM   #5
KSGregman
Get Fit...or Get OUT
 
KSGregman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: KS
Moto: 07 M109-R
Posts: 1,993
Default

WTF is this?!

An Avatard post that I can absolutely and unreservedly agree with?!

Damn....I didn't think that was possible.
KSGregman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2010, 02:33 PM   #6
Trip
Hold mah beer!
 
Trip's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 80 Miles South of Moto Heaven
Moto: 08 R1200GS
Posts: 23,268
Default

No shit good post

You need to post more topics like this one.
Trip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2010, 02:38 PM   #7
CrazyKell
Vrooom
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Moto: 06 ZX6R
Posts: 4,427
Default

I'm well aware that my rack and stick driving skills have gotten me far in life.
CrazyKell is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2010, 02:46 PM   #8
pauldun170
Serious Business
 
pauldun170's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: New York
Moto: 1993 ZX-11 2008 CBR1000rr
Posts: 9,723
Default

This should be a sticky
__________________


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave View Post
feed your dogs root beer it will make them grow large and then you can ride them and pet the motorcycle while drinking root beer
pauldun170 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2010, 02:54 PM   #9
Dave
Chaotic Neutral
 
Dave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Cherry Hill NJ
Moto: GV1200 Madura, Hawk gt
Posts: 13,992
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyKell View Post
I'm well aware that my rack and stick driving skills have gotten me far in life.
can you cook? Too bad you live in canukistan
Dave is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2010, 03:00 PM   #10
udman
You are not the Man!!
 
udman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Austin TX
Moto: Hawk GT
Posts: 750
Default

Avatard, I officially take back everything I've ever mumbled under my breath about you.
__________________
You can put lipstick on a VS Forum, but it's still a VS Forum...
udman is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:26 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.